Celebrating Singledom #3

Today I'm celebrating NOT having to compromise or share.

Recently I shared my apartment with a friend of a friend. It was great at first but soon became a bit strained. Let me clarify now... This is not a "Bash the Roomie" kind of post. This is about me acknowledging some truths about myself and my living space.

I'd never had a roommate before. I went from living at home to living alone. Literally, for one month of my adult life did I live with a boyfriend. That came to an end when I left for work one morning and he Ummm... well, he just LEFT! During that day he and his sister had "discussed it" and they decided that although he still loved me, he wasn't ready to live with me. Yeah, that's a whole other blog post.
I will say though that three months later he showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night (after seeing a Marc Anthony concert with another woman) crying and begging... yes folks, on his knee's, for another chance.
Again... that's a whole other blog post!

Anyway, my roomie was nice and for the most part he was neat but I wasn't comfortable. I just didn't feel right walking around my house doing my regular things. Watching television in the living room instead of my bedroom. Walking around braless in a tank top. Cleaning the house as early or as late as I wanted or not having to clean up at all. And, I won't even go into how upsetting it was for me to share a bathroom with a boy!

Part of it was that he and I were not romantically involved. If we had been intimate then being half dressed or sharing the bathroom wouldn't have been an issue. But, living with a romantic partner brings with it a much longer list of issues. The following is a little of what I enjoy about not just living alone but being single.

The other day I wasn't feeling well and all I wanted to do was go straight home to bed. When I got there I jumped into a nice hot shower, put on big warm silly pajamas, a fluffy bathrobe and plopped down on my couch to watch crime dramas. I just stayed there sniffling, coughing and drinking tea until I went to bed for the night. I didn't have to make conversation, worry about the TV being too loud or having to look decent for anyone. In fact, I think I looked sexy in a messy carefree sort of way. Besides being sick, it was a dream Winter weeknight for me, being able to rest comfortably without taking anyone else into consideration.

Last Friday a friend called and asked if I wanted to hang out after work and I just answered YES. I didn't have to let anyone know I was making spur of the moment plans. I didn't have to let anyone know I might be home late. I didn't have to let anyone know that I'd decided to bring that friend home to watch a movie instead.

During the weekend I was able to get up early and clean. I put on my music and cleaned out the refrigerator without disturbing anyone. I was able to clean the bathroom and not worry if someone else had to use it at that moment OR worry that they would leave toothpaste spots on the mirror (or spots of any kind anywhere) when I was done.

I could go out in the middle of the day and knew everything would be exactly as I left it when I returned. I didn't have to invite someone along when I wanted to just go out alone.

Other perks:
What I put in the refrigerator is exactly what stays there. No one eating half of something I was saving for later. No pouring a bowl of cereal only to find an ounce of milk left in the container.

I could take a nap whenever I want to without being disturbed by someone else's cooking or their music or their talking.
No one coming and going with company of their own.

My laundry is mine alone. No one else's towels, sheets or socks to wash.

Only I buy things for the house so there's no bitching about what brand something is or isn't. No one can complain about how or what I spend my money on at all.

I can decorate however I want. Buy new furniture, shelves, books or nick-knacks. Put them anywhere. Only the photos I want are hanging up. I can buy a red couch and no one has a say about it. I can move things around. Throw things out or be a pack-rat.

My home is my sanctuary. It's where I sit and think. Where I write and work. Where I welcome family and friends. My home is an expression of who I truly am.

I've wondered lately, "Will I be able to live with a partner one day?" You're probably wondering the same thing as you read this. But, honestly, I think I will be able to live with someone.
Of course it won't be easy but I haven't lost hope. When I find the person who is right for me we will create a balance. We'll give each other space to think and work. Space to create and to relax.
We'll respect one another's alone time and share in the responsibilities of maintaining a home. I know I will have to compromise some things. But until that times comes, until I find the person I'll want to compromise for and who is happy to do the same for me I will continue to enjoy my single life of NOT having to share my space.

Three cheers for warm, footsie pajama's and having sole custody of the remote control.

I'm Talkin'

People love to hear me talk. Yep, it's true.

Most of my family and friends won't admit it but it's true.

Wonder how I know this? The moment I stop talking everyone wants to know why.
I get phone calls, emails and visits.

I'm not complaining, in fact, I love it.

For the past two weeks this has been going on, then during dinner with friends on Sunday I was asked why I haven't blogged in awhile. That's when I decided I really needed to step up and write something.

So, in response...
I've taken some time away from my blog lately but it isn't because I haven't been writing. I've been working on several things, I just haven't completed any. At least, I haven't completed any to my satisfaction.
In addition to trying to keep up with my blog I've rejoined a writers' group and I have assignments to do for my Priestess Training. I'm also in the process of writing something for a project my sister is working on.

Most of my postings are summarized versions of longer pieces that come from personal essays and journal entries. Before I post anything I change names or edit someone out completely. Unless of course I'm writing about a jerk who really deserves to be called on his behavior and even then I don't name them.

In any case, it's the "editing process" that is causing me to seem lazy.

I will do my best to post soon and certainly more frequently than once a month.

Blessings!
La Lady Sage