About Me

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Harlem, New York, United States
At a very young age I knew I wanted to do anything that involved getting my "opinion" on life out there. I would tell true stories and made up stories. I would sing and dance. I would conduct interviews and draw pictures. I just needed an outlet. My plans were to become a talk show host, until one day my mother pointed out that it would mean I'd have to do a lot of listening too. I realized talk show host wasn’t really going to work since what I really wanted was to talk and have people listen. In time I had to admit that I had much more to say than most people had time to listen to. So, I started to keep a journal. My journals helped me to formulate my thoughts and emotions but I still had no audience. Hopefully this blog will give me that audience. Blessed Be

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Itty Bitty Writers Block

I've been having a really hard time writing lately.
I've been able to write in my journal but I haven't been happy with anything I've written for my blog. I received some really good advice from several different friends about getting through writers block and all had their benefits but I still couldn't put anything on paper worth posting.
So, I decided to write a list of all the reasons I didn't want to post what I'd tried to write. I found a few reasons but only two really stood out. One is that I've gotten lots of compliments about my blog. Sounds like a good thing, right? It is! The thing is... You can say I'm not used to being that good at something. I'm not trying to sound down on myself... believe me, I get my share of compliments.  Mostly the compliments are about who I am, just not really for what I can do. And, there is a difference. I get compliments for standing up for my beliefs, for being independent, for being strong, or funny, or thoughtful, for being a good friend, sister or daughter. I get compliments for helping and listening to people, and even on my spirituality. But, for a talent??? Not really.
I am flattered by the compliments not because of what it says about me but because of who it comes from. The people who have complimented me are all people I consider interesting, smart, talented and accomplished. If they like what I do then I feel gifted... because I value their thoughts and opinions. I don't want to let them down. I guess I was intimidated by the positive feedback.
The second problem was that I wasn't comfortable being as open as I usually am. In the past few months I've let go of some people who were not helping me move along on a positive path. Some were friends that have been in my life for a very long time, some were people I worked with spiritually and some were ex's who simply wanted to keep tabs on me but would never be more then just on the fringe of my life. I didn't want to make it easy for those people who didn't treat me well enough for me to be a part of their lives to stay informed. If they can't be kind to me, value me, include me then why should they KNOW me?
Once I faced these two issues writing again became easier.
I love writing and THAT should be the only thing I worry about. Why people read what I write isn't supposed to be the point. If people enjoy and relate to what I put out there then it's just one more blessing in my world. And, if they don't like what I put out there... well then, they don't have to log on, do they? I don't work for a newspaper, I don't have to write on deadline or be PC about things... no need for fact checking. And, Oprah certainly can't call me onto her show and dis me for my words. As long as I stick to my own moral compass I don't need to worry about getting lost.
So, here's to me being ME and doing what I love.
Wish me well...