The Set Up - Part 1

This is a story about why my mother is no longer allowed to set me up on dates.

Though this person, let's call him Bob, remained a part of my circle of friends and family for years, this one date has always been THE strangest date of them all.

He's a great guy my mother said. I knew from the start that I might regret it but I listened anyway.
He's only a few years older than you. He's never been married. He has a very good job.
He has a nice build, goes to the gym regularly. He isn't really cute but certainly not bad looking.
She then sweetened the deal by saying he had great taste in music and even wrote songs.

I said I'd talk to him.

Our first conversation was strained.
He didn't even attempt to make small talk. His side of the conversation was very Vulcan-like...
Hello. How are you? Would you like to go out? How about Saturday?
Although there were really long pauses between his questions, I'm not quite sure he even heard my answers. I wouldn't have been surprised in the least if he'd written everything down on index cards before calling.
When I asked a question he gave me simple one word answers.
Now, I love to talk but even I was stumped for words. It was basically a one-sided conversation. Again, I'm often okay with that but this was just awkward.
I was hoping he was just very shy and that he would loosen up in person.

The following weekend standing at my front door was a guy I would never have chosen on my own to go out with. What on earth was my mother thinking?
I'm not all about looks but this guy was not attractive in any sense of the word. He was not built. He was top heavy but it wasn't muscle. He looked as if he was holding his stomach in. If he did go to the gym, he obviously only worked out his upper half because his lower body was not in proportion to the top.
And, he definitely had hair plugs.
I sympathized with him considering I have my own issues with hair loss... BUT, the rows of hair could be seen clearly even from my height, which was about ten inches shorter than his.
He was wearing a Hockey jersey tucked into his Khaki's and wore a belt with it. Over that he had on a full length black trench coat. On his feet were a pair of MC boots with spurs attached. Yes... spurs. Like what cowboys wear.

I took a deep breath, shook his hand and off we went... I could hear him "chinking" along as we walked to his car.