Because I Won't Settle?

Lately I've been bothered by comments that, honestly, I've heard for years. It isn't that they've just begun to piss me off, it's that I'm now trying to figure out why they're made in the first place.

I had a conversation a few weeks ago and someone said they couldn't imagine me in love. Granted, they've only known me for a few years and in that time I haven't been in a serious relationship but I was still a bit surprised. It brought to mind a conversation I had years ago. A family member and I were discussing someone who'd chosen to stay in a marriage even though it was abusive. All in the name of love and loyalty. I said I didn't think the person should settle and that's when I was told, "Well then, you've never been in love before." She added, "When you really love someone you do whatever you have to to stay with that person." I disagreed. I felt, when you really love yourself you do what you can to save a relationship but you do WHATEVER you have to to save YOU. Another time I was told I wouldn't understand the reasons to fight for a relationship because I've never been married.
All of these comments bothered me. Actually, they hurt me.
I have certainly been in love before. Deep deep love. I've loved more than once. Each time for different reasons. Each time with very different people. Each time I felt shattered when it was over. But, make no mistake, I have been in love.
Last week I was having dinner with an old friend and there were more comments made that carried a similar message. I was called a hard ass and told that I don't give guys a chance. This made me wonder... why do I give this impression? What is it I do that makes it seem that I don't want or know how to love someone? That I'm not open to giving love a chance?
I've been engaged three times. That's giving love a chance.
I've had long term, monogamous relationships. That's giving love a chance.
I'm known for my crazy dating stories... that's giving love and guys a chance. In fact, that's giving them a chance despite my experiences.

I make silly jokes about being incompatible with guys because of their height or the kind of shoes they wear. That's all it is, a joke. Look, if a man was a good man and treated me right, his footwear would not keep me from loving him.
I think I can be hard on men but only after they give me reason to pause. Even then, I often let my friends and family talk me into giving them a little more time.

I believe the issues aren't about how I'm hard on them or that I don't know what real love is, they're about the fact that I don't settle. It bothers some people. It's much easier for someone to think I'm lacking the capacity to love or to commit instead of saying to themselves that they've settled. This way it's me who has the problem, not them. From their viewpoint they have more than I do, they're above me because they understand love and I don't.

Well, I do understand love. I believe in love itself.
I believe in love at first sight. I believe in soul mates. I celebrate the loving true relationships that exist. I've loved so hard that I'm still friends with several ex-boyfriends. Even some who in the end hurt me, I've found a way to continue to love and care for them. This is the reason I wonder, why do I keep getting such a bad wrap?
I've given love more of an opportunity than most people I know. The difference is that I've been heartbroken many times by different people and others have been heartbroken many times by the same person.
I may be single today but my options are still open and I think in the end, I have a better chance of finding that forever love than many who have criticized me and settled.